I honest to god hate her. She is the only person in the world who makes me so mad and upset after talking to her. Every fucking time. It’s like she knows when I’m in a good mood and knows exactly what to do to bring me down.
I’m never going to be happy with my mom in my life. Every time I talk to her she does some selfish thing that makes me mad. She wants me to come home during my birthday week and miss out on school so she can go to Nantucket for a vacation. She wants me to give her my car back. She wants this, she wants that. Her demands have increased ever since I moved out. Because I don’t matter. My wants and needs meaning nothing. College is super easy where I can drop school work and do whatever she says. I will never understand how her immature brain works nor do I want to.
I fixed my relationship with my dad after moving out. But I don’t think I’ll be able to ever be on good terms with my mom. I used to think maybe she’s jealous of me and that’s why she treats me the worst from the three of us. But now I think it’s true. I am living the life she never had. I have the full freedom and am on the path to success. I don’t let anything or anyone set me back and I’m working so hard to make this happen without anyone’s help. But she is fully dependant on people and can never do things for herself. And she does this things to hold me back because it’s not fair that I can be free and happy and not her. I’m not under her control. She can still make my brother and sister do things through guilt and shit, but not me. And that’s what she hates. But she knows she can control me by pissing me off. If she can’t make me listen, she might as well make me mad and ruin my mood.
So that’s what I need to focus on. Don’t let her bother me. This is a win for her. I wish it were easier for me to kick her out of my life. Maybe if my dad wasn’t around I could. I’m sure there will be a point in my life where I just cut her out completely and sever our relationship for good. I’m ready for that day. I’ve never had a mom in my life so it doesn’t hurt to think like this. She’s only been a mom in name. She treats me like a step child. And I could forever pick at myself, wondering what I did to make her treat me this way, but the flaw isn’t me, but her.